In Between Languages

I'm going to expand a little on yesterday's blog about the frustrations and small, and I mean small, triumphs in learning Spanish. (I had a great time at the market all by myself and managed to procure all the fresh, wonderful fruits and veggies that I wanted! Score!!!) To say that my Spanish is basic, is well, an understatement. But I am trying my best. Juan Manuel, remember that totally awesome kid that was Andy's guide from the language institute, came over yesterday for our second private lesson. He was helping me with common verbs and how to conjugate those mo-fos. I expressed to him my frustration with my lack of pronunciation skillz (that's right, with a "z" cause I'm gangsta now too). He smiled and said, "Oh, you could learn for years and years and it still won't be all the way right."*Boom* Another reality bitch-slap to the face. But in a good way...no seriously.

Hearing that from a third party, Andy is considered a second party I guess, was like music to my ears. He said, "Oh, you can learn for years and years and it still won't be all the way right" but the message I received was, "Girl, get over yourself. This is gonna be hard, you won't be good at it for...well, maybe ever, but just do it!" I'm pretty sure these are the same words that have been coming out of Andy's mouth since we talked about this venture. I'm pretty sure he's been communicating the same message in many different ways, but I must have been looking at him like this:

Thanks Google Image Search and Tina Fey...and NBC for the perfect still to help me show my blog readers how I must look to Andy when we talk about this subject. 

I should say it here and now, and I'll tell him later in person cause it's not really an apology unless it's said face to face in my book, but I'm sorry. You were right. I'm not going to be perfect, but I'm not going to get any better unless I just do it...and fail...and do it again. *Shudders at idea of failure...lots of failure* But that's the only way I'm going to get any better. Try, possibly fall on my face, get up, wipe myself off, and try again. I don't know what it is, but I'm sure we're all guilty of it at some point (that's right, I'm calling all of you out on this too! I'm not the only one here who can be a jerk) but sometimes it's hardest to hear things, really hear them, from the people closest to us. What's up with that?! I'm lucky and fortunate to have people in my life who are willing to help me, and find others to help me when I just can't possibly take the advice that my loved ones have already dished out. ;) Mad props to my honey! *Fist Bump!* 

So, now that I've beat the dead horse about Spanish, I wanted to share that I have noticed my English is changing as well. I started to notice it the first day we were in Mexico. I was very fortunate that Dr. Arizpe and his family spoke English, so we were able to communicate fairly easily. But because English is their second language, I find myself simplifying my own speaking to help with the communication. (Also, not to look like an ass by using advanced vocabulary and "Americanisms.") So in a way I am feeling like I don't know Spanish at all, and now I'm losing my native language as well. Obviously, this isn't true at all, but sometimes it feels like it. I feel like I'm lost in between two languages. Like I'm straddling two lingual continents.

Little did I know this summer that this picture would be perfect for today's blog. It's all coming together nicely. 

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So...not really sure how to end this thing today. How about...

Fin